An Experiment in Religious Praxis

Follow One of the Central Teachings of Christianity: Forgiveness

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In my post of May 28, 2020, I suggested most religious traditions are more concerned about praxis, what people do, than doxis, what they believe. To get a deeper understanding of various religious traditions, once in a while I’m going to suggest a practice you can try.

I’ll be using Sage Bennet’s book Wisdom Walk, information from Everyday Spiritual Practices edited by the Unitarian Universalist minister Scott Alexander as well as other sources.

Although these practices will be tied to particular religious traditions, they will not require that you express any adherence to those traditions. This means you can engage in these practices regardless of your own personal religiosity or lack thereof.

Our first praxis comes to us from Christianity. In her book Wisdom Walk Sage Bennet begins her chapter on Christianity and forgiveness with the prayer attributed to St. Francis of Assisi:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
Amen.

As she says one of the central teachings of Christianity is the wisdom practice of forgiveness. All of us harbor resentments against individuals and institutions that we feel have harmed or betrayed us. Often, we have carried these resentments with us for a very long time and they color much of our current lives. The unresolved anger at the base of these resentments can lead to illness, depression and addiction. At the very least, they make our lives less joyful while having no actual effect on those we feel have harmed us. In other words, our resentments are harming us, not those we resent.

Jesus said that the most important command was to love one another, and regardless of what you might think about the institution that has grown up around his teachings, this command makes it possible for us to live a more enjoyable and healthy life. You can’t carry resentment against someone or something and also practice the kind of spiritual love that views the world through the eyes of compassion.

Steps toward Forgiveness

Sage makes the point that forgiveness doesn’t mean that we condone the unacceptable behavior or that we must befriend those we forgive. She offers the following steps toward forgiveness:

1. Confront your anger. You must face the anger that is fueling your resentment and sometimes before you can face your anger, you must recognize it. For many of us being angry isn’t acceptable so we bury our anger deep inside ourselves, so you must give yourself time and space to unearth and confront your anger.
2. Get support. If you’ve been carrying anger for a very long time or you’ve got deeply buried anger, you might need the help of a profession to unearth and confront your anger. Sometimes, you can do this work sharing an inventory of your feelings with a trusted friend is helpful.
3. Decide whom to forgive. She suggests imagining your heart as a corridor through which the people in your life can walk. When you notice someone who seems afraid to enter the corridor of your heart, you will have discovered people you may need to forgive.
4. Forgive yourself. Sometimes the resentment we carry is anger against ourselves, and we need to forgive ourselves for past errors in judgment. Many people notice that they themselves are stand fearfully at the entrance to their hearts. Sometimes we condemn in others what we find unacceptable to ourselves. When we finally recognize and forgive this failing in ourselves, we can forgive it in others.
5. Ask for forgiveness. Part of forgiving others is admitting our own errors and asking forgiveness from others.
6. Act as if. Sage suggests that sometime, when forgiveness is difficult, the first step can be to say the words, even if they don’t ring true — to act as if we can forgive the other even though we have not yet reached to the place of true forgiveness.
7. Imaging being cleansed by a river of love. Sage concludes her corridors-of-the-heart meditation by imaging that her heart is connected to a river of love flowing from the universal source of love and into the hearts of each person she wants to forgive. She imagines this river of love washing away the debris of anger, resentments and criticism, leaving only love behind.
8. See through the eyes of compassion. Finally, as we practice forgiveness, our own self-centeredness dissolves and we begin to see our life situations through the eyes of the other in our lives. This new viewpoint can open our hearts to true compassion.

Prayer

Sometimes praying for the best and highest good for both yourself and the individuals and institutions you want to forgive can move you toward a more compassionate place, releasing the anger and resentment holds you hostage to the past. You may want to make a list of those you want to forgive but only select only a single individual or institution at a time on which to concentrate your forgiveness. Spend 15 to 30 minutes imagining that person being washed by the river of love and receiving all the blessings of life until you can do so freely and without contradiction.

Have you attempted to add the experience of forgiveness to your life? How did it go? Let us know in the comments.

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